Instructions for Reading This Obama Fan Fiction: 1. Read, 2. Auto-erotically Asphixiate self, 3. Profit

Warning:  This is a conversation between Mouse and myself and should not be read by anyone.  It’s offensive to Chris Matthews and arugula.  I’m only posting it cause I think it’s funny.  (It’s not though).

 

Kristen

Chris Matthews wants to make sweet love to Obama.

He just needs to admit it.

Mouse

You can see that cock hungry glint in his eyes.

Kristen

Totally.

Mouse

Oh God, seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ripped off his mic and walked off to the nearest airport, flew to where Obama was and just dropped to his knees, licked his lips and let’r rip.

Kristen

Hahaha

Yes, totally.

Mouse

He’s right though.

I can see why they call this a liberal network.

I love it though.

Kristen

Yeah totally.

It’s our Fox.

Mouse

Except you know, they don’t get secret letters from the White House.

And they fact check.

And they aren’t insane.

Except Matthews.

Tad crazy.

Kristen

His desire for Obama is totally sane though.

Mouse

I think even the white hicks voting against him want him.

They’re just afraid.

But obama’s gentle.

He cuddles afterward.

Makes small talk before he moves on.

Kristen

He lets you stay the night.

Makes breakfast in the morning.

And it’s not just cereal.

No, he makes you eggs.

Mouse

Oh, totally.

With like bell peppers and stuff.

Fancy eggs.

Kristen

Arugula.

He’d break the fancy spinach out.

Mouse

He grows it.

Kristen

And that’s where you find him in the morning.

In the garden getting arugula to make your eggs.

Mouse

Tending the herbs.

Shirtless.

Slight sweat on his brow.

Kristen

Ooo.

Mouse

Michelle is away for the weekend.

Kristen

You bring him some coffee.

Mouse

He takes it black.

Just like you do.

And hot.

Scalding hot.

We should write a dirty novel.

Kristen

A little Obama erotica.

We’ll make a little joke and he’ll wipe his brow with his t shirt.

Mouse

And he’ll laugh, but only slightly.

And you both catch each other’s eyes.

And there’ll be a moment of quiet.

Where you know you’re his.

And that he knows he’ll be having his way with you.

cut to: sex on counter in kitchen

Kristen

Yeah but puts a dish towel under your head.

Wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.

Okay, this is going on the blog.

~ by atypicalsnowman on November 2, 2008.