Depressing Little Balls of Fur and Velvet.

Has anyone ever actually bothered to listen to the lyrics of some of the Muppet’s songs? They’re sung by brightly colored felt with ping pong eye balls with smiles on their faces but the lyrics are horribly depressing.

This thought occurred to me as my itunes shuffled into “Halfway Down the Stairs,” a poem by A.A. Milne and sung by Kermit’s nephew, Robin, on the Muppet Show. Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

“Halfway down the stairs is the stair where I sit. There isn’t any other stair quite like it. I’m not at the bottom. I’m not at the top. So this is the stair where I always stop.”

This is of course sung solemnly to piano music while a sad looking frog sits and sighs to himself on a carpet covered stairway. Which immediately makes me want to stick needles into my eyes.

So I decided to look for other examples of this. Here’s a sample from “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday,” sung by Gonzo in The Muppet Movie.

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met. Part Heaven, part Space or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay. I’m going to go back there someday.”

Of course he’s doing this to a sad harmonica with violins in the background as he sings to the sky around a fire.

Then there’s the whooper of “The Rainbow Connection” sung by Kermit himself.

“Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices? I’ve heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailor? I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it, it’s something that I’m supposed to be.”

Seriously. Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s late at night and there are things going on with my family but does anyone else find this depressing?  I think it’s a miracle those of us who watched the Muppets are as well adjusted as we are.  Maybe all the sadness just prepared us for real life.

My apologies for this completely irrational blog post but this is what blogs are for, are they not?


~ by atypicalsnowman on May 14, 2008.

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