It’s Official.

•November 7, 2008 • 1 Comment

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I have a weird crush on Rahm Emanuel.  Also, Christopher Beam’s latest article from Slate made me laugh my ass off.

“Rahm Emanuel’s first task upon becoming Barack Obama’s chief of staff will be to track down and fire whoever the fuck leaked word that he was offered the job.”

This would have been tweeted but alas, it was too long.

Is This Kinda Hot to Anyone Else?

•November 6, 2008 • Leave a Comment

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President-Elect Obama (ah, doesn’t it feel great to say that?) has hit the road running.  While Bill Clinton took weeks to set up his team, Obama began first thing on Wednesday asking Rahm Emanuel to be his chief of staff thus sparking a bit of controversy on choosing a traditional liberal.

On a separate note, is that picture really hot to anyone else?  I mean, just look at it.  It looks like Obama is going to start nuzzling Rahm while checking to make sure Michelle isn’t around.

Hallelujah!

•November 6, 2008 • Leave a Comment

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I’m a young woman, but I can remember considering our current scenario while growing up and honesting thinking there’s no way this could happen in my lifetime.

But it has.  

And I think most Americans (if not all) had a paradigm shift that night.  Even if you didn’t vote for Obama, if a part of you didn’t rejoice at this historic election then I worry for you.  I was very glad when my very conservative parents rejoiced a bit at the election of the first black president, even if they both voted McCain.

On Wednesday morning, nothing had changed, nothing was different.  But damn if it didn’t feel that way.

Instructions for Reading This Obama Fan Fiction: 1. Read, 2. Auto-erotically Asphixiate self, 3. Profit

•November 2, 2008 • 2 Comments

Warning:  This is a conversation between Mouse and myself and should not be read by anyone.  It’s offensive to Chris Matthews and arugula.  I’m only posting it cause I think it’s funny.  (It’s not though).

 

Kristen

Chris Matthews wants to make sweet love to Obama.

He just needs to admit it.

Mouse

You can see that cock hungry glint in his eyes.

Kristen

Totally.

Mouse

Oh God, seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ripped off his mic and walked off to the nearest airport, flew to where Obama was and just dropped to his knees, licked his lips and let’r rip.

Kristen

Hahaha

Yes, totally.

Mouse

He’s right though.

I can see why they call this a liberal network.

I love it though.

Kristen

Yeah totally.

It’s our Fox.

Mouse

Except you know, they don’t get secret letters from the White House.

And they fact check.

And they aren’t insane.

Except Matthews.

Tad crazy.

Kristen

His desire for Obama is totally sane though.

Mouse

I think even the white hicks voting against him want him.

They’re just afraid.

But obama’s gentle.

He cuddles afterward.

Makes small talk before he moves on.

Kristen

He lets you stay the night.

Makes breakfast in the morning.

And it’s not just cereal.

No, he makes you eggs.

Mouse

Oh, totally.

With like bell peppers and stuff.

Fancy eggs.

Kristen

Arugula.

He’d break the fancy spinach out.

Mouse

He grows it.

Kristen

And that’s where you find him in the morning.

In the garden getting arugula to make your eggs.

Mouse

Tending the herbs.

Shirtless.

Slight sweat on his brow.

Kristen

Ooo.

Mouse

Michelle is away for the weekend.

Kristen

You bring him some coffee.

Mouse

He takes it black.

Just like you do.

And hot.

Scalding hot.

We should write a dirty novel.

Kristen

A little Obama erotica.

We’ll make a little joke and he’ll wipe his brow with his t shirt.

Mouse

And he’ll laugh, but only slightly.

And you both catch each other’s eyes.

And there’ll be a moment of quiet.

Where you know you’re his.

And that he knows he’ll be having his way with you.

cut to: sex on counter in kitchen

Kristen

Yeah but puts a dish towel under your head.

Wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.

Okay, this is going on the blog.

Greatest Description of a Movie Ever

•November 1, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Andy:

Greatest description of a movie:

The gruesome tapestry of psychological manifestations of a nineteen year old bulimic runaway stripper-turned prostitute as she descends into a hellish pit of satanic nightmares and hallucinations.

Me:

Hahahaha.  Wow.

John Lopez: Gardener and Excellent Fertilizer.

•October 11, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Kristen

Wow Sheba is crying at me.

I wonder if Timmy is stuck in a well.

Mouse

Ask her to tap accordingly.

One tap, yes.

Two taps, no.

Kristen

More like meow.

She’s meowing up a storm

She has food and water

I held her.

Mouse

No, the meow means the British have entered the bikini state.

Which means she is asking you to enter the Shebunker or her personal ShebaJet.

Kristen

Haha

Shebashelter.

It’s under the house.

We just don’t know about it yet.

Mouse

One day your dad is going to be digging up a weed or planting something in the yard and he’s going to hear a metallic clink when the shovel hits it. He’ll say “what the hell?” and over his shoulder you’ll see Sheba, looking out the window with a scowl on her face, knowing what needed to be done. No one ever did hear of John Lopez again, but they say that if you listen closely in the night…

if it’s quiet enough, you can still hear him berate you.

Kristen

hahahaha

Okay, this is getting blogged.

Mouse

Leave out the berate part.

I didn’t know how to end it.

Frightening

•October 9, 2008 • 1 Comment

The past few days since the last debate have been frightening.  I’ve now seen several McCain rallies in which angry voters are being whipped up into a frenzy over the idea of Barack Obama becoming president.

I understand that the McCain campaign is backed into a corner and they’re throwing whatever and the kitchen sink at Obama in hopes of making one good hit, but there should be such a thing as responsiblity in elections.

What’s happened to the maverick, the guy who ran a clean campaign (and lost, of course) against Bush in 2000?  Or the guy who admitted that the Keating Five scandal was the worst thing he had ever done?

Well, he’s gone now and apparently in his place is someone who’s hell bent on tearing the country apart.

I’m not about to say that Obama will win the election first, because he might not, and second because I don’t want to jinx it.  (Yes, superstition, what are you gonna do)?

However, if he is elected, McCain is going to have a hell of a time in his concession speech.  How will that play out?  “Even though our new president is a terrorist and we have no idea who he is we should still get behind… that one.”

Really.

Sarah Palin not silencing a crowd yelling ‘terrorist’ is a very revealing thing- is this actually what the McCain campaign believes or do they just want us to believe that without having to say it outloud?

Mudslinging is one thing but allowing men who cry out, “kill him” in the middle of your speech is something completely different.  It’s terrifying.